whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
