You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
