I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
