he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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