You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
