But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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