Your dad touched me again.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He felt like a one man threesome
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
