yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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