Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
