one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
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