its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
not ubering you a puppy
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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