so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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