you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
