real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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