I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
