just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
