I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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