Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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