You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
