Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
