im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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