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How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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