I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I didn't notice because vodka
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
