somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
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My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
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Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Panties = found
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize