Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
