it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize