Already got asked if we're dating
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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