Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
