we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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