i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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