Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
