If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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