You made me cry and you don't even care
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
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You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
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Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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