woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize