Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
