But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
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he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
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He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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