If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
