he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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