I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
