porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
well you can't waste a boner
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
