So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You are the jesus of drinking
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
