Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
