I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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