i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
