I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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