Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
