Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
