When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
