Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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