When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
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