well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
