Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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