I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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