I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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