sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
4 words: hood of his car
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
