belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
