I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
