I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
