you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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