Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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